The 3 Words That Transform Your Golf Game and Life

In this episode of Think Above Par, Coach Kathy dives into the power of three simple words: "I get to." Shifting from "I have to" to "I get to" can completely change how we approach both life and the golf course. Kathy shares personal stories, including a moment when this shift helped her reframe a difficult situation, and breaks down how this mindset shift creates gratitude, hope, and fulfillment instead of pressure and resentment. Whether you’re teeing off early or practicing in challenging conditions, this episode will inspire you to embrace your opportunities rather than feeling burdened by them.

Connect with Kathy at KathyHartWood.com

Email Kathy at Kathy@KathyHartWood.com

Chapters

• 0:00 I get to
• 2:41 Marker
• 3:59 Marker

Transcript

Welcome to Above Par. I'm your host, Kathy Hartwood. I show you how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing harder, taking more lessons, or buying new equipment. I show you how to end the frustration of underperforming so you can start playing to your potential. This is where you are going to learn how to think above par so you can play below par. Let's get to it.

Hello, my golf friend. Welcome back to Think Above Par. Super glad that you're here and listening. Thank you for sharing the podcast with your friends. I hear a lot of you are doing that and sharing the love. I appreciate that. More well managed minds we have on the golf course and in life, the better, right? You want your friends to know what the heck they're doing on the golf course with their mind.

You don't want to really take advantage. Here I am going off on a tangent. You don't really want to win because someone has a poorly managed mind, right? You want your talent to win, right? You don't want to be in an environment where someone's miserable and negative. It's just going to be more challenging for you. So share it with your friends who are super negative, getting in their own way, not playing to their potential or just really unhappy with their experience on the golf course.

And hopefully they can find some tools in here to help them along the way too. So I want to talk to you about three words. Three words that when I shifted them, really changed the way that I look at most things in my life anymore. And I got a foundation for this when I went through training to be a coach and then I did a leadership training that just shifted it even more, made it a little bit more impactful for me.

And I want to share it with you and I want you to use it where you can in your life and on the golf course. And the words are I have to. So I have to can be as small as I have to pick up the kids from school, I have to go to the grocery store, I have to go to the bank, I have to clean my room, I have to do the dishes, I have to go to work.

I have to go to the range and practice. I have to practice after I play, I have to hit balls, I have to tee off at 8 o'clock and I have to play with Billy, Betty and Bobby, right? We can use I have to everywhere in our lives and it can feel like heavy or pressure or a burden. And usually when there's I have to after it might be another I have To.

And another, I have to. And then we can feel victimy sometimes in these situations. What I learned through coach training is that the way that it pivoted there was, you really don't have to do anything. All right? So the example that I give and that actually I heard in training was, I have to pick up my kids from school, right? And the coach was like, no, you don't.

You don't have to pick up your kids from school. And then the client said, well, yes, I do. She said, okay, then what? What will happen if you don't pick up your kids from school? Then what? Well, then they'll sit in a room. She goes, and then what? And then they'll be really upset, and they'll be sad, and they'll think that I abandoned them. Right? And then what?

And then the government might come, whatever that's called, Children's Services or whatever, might come and interview them and then interview me, and I could get in trouble, and the administration's gonna be really disappointed in me, and they're gonna think that I'm a horrible parent, and my friends are gonna think that I'm bad parents, that I abandoned my children. And my kids will be in therapy as they get older.

They're gonna have problems with their kids. It's gonna turn in this whole huge thing. So, of course I had to pick up my kids. And then the pivot was to. It's not that you have to. You want to, right? You want to do those things. You don't have to do them. You want to so that your kids feel like they're loved and that you don't want them to be afraid, and you don't want them to feel like they're been abandoned by their parent.

So you want to. It feels totally different when you switch from I have to to I want to. So that was the first layer of it. A lot of times when we start with I have to, it leads to a lot of other burdens and heaviness and problems for us. And the second layer of it that I got to was I get to. Switching it from I want to to I get to makes a huge difference.

So let me share my example, where I really had an epiphany here, where it impacted me, where I really got it. I was doing a golf event in Boca Raton, and my dad at the time had broken his hip, and he was over on the other coast. He was on the west coast, so I was on the East Coast. Flew down from North Carolina. I was flying back to North Carolina.

But my dad was by himself in a hospital going to rehab. So my story was I have to go see my dad. I have to rent a car now and drive across Alligator Alley and go see my dad. And I'm going to have to spend a couple days there and I'm going to have to change my plans. It's going to cost me money. I'm going to have to cancel some appointments, maybe cancel some clients.

I'm going to have to stay in his house. I'm going to have to be by myself. I have to be away from Stella longer. My dog, right then it just got heavier and heavier and heavier. It felt like this huge burden. I was super pissed off and annoyed. And then when I switched it to I get to. It sounded like I get to go see my dad. And then what?

I get to support him and then what? I get to love on him and spend extra time with him. I get to show him that people care. I get to take care of my clients even when I'm not home. I get to change my plans so that I get to be with him. I get to be an example to my kids. I get to give back. I get to make sure that he's being taken care of and he's getting proper care.

All of a sudden I shifted it to I get to. And all the benefits that come with that versus I have to. It's such a minor shift, but it's such a big impact on your brain. It goes from I have to make dinner to I get to make dinner. I get to make dinner and make choices for my family that they'll enjoy and give them pleasure. I have to go to the grocery store.

I get to go to the grocery store because I get to buy food to nourish my family, myself. I have to go to the golf course and I have to tee off at 7:30. I get to. I get to tee off at 7:30. I get to be the first person out there. I get to have nice fresh greens, right? I get to play probably faster than the rest of the people in the group.

I get to have the rest of the day ahead of me. I have to practice. Do I get to practice? I get to practice because it's what I want to do to spend time on my golf game to improve. I get to put to use all the skills that I have. I get to ingrain them. I get to focus. I get to work on my mental game. I have to play in the rain.

I get to play in the rain. I get to figure out how to play in the rain. I get to manage my mind around playing in the rain. I get to maybe gain a couple shots on the field because I know how to manage my mind in the rain. It's three words that are really going to shift and impact the way that you show up, the way that you feel.

One way feels victimy and the other way feels gratitude, feels like hope, feels like caring, feels like satisfaction or fulfillment. And you could argue, like Kathy, there's some things that I really, really, really don't think it's beneficial to do. Like I have to go to the DMV and redo my license or get a registration. No, you get to so can drive a car. So you get to go where you want to go.

So you have freedom. So you don't get arrested. You get to my friends, it's a small little shift. Three words go from I have to. I get to. And see how that shifts how you think about your day to day activity, your day to day life, the way that you encounter your people, especially going into the holidays. Right. I have to have Thanksgiving dinner with Uncle Bob. No, you get to.

And why do you get to. And then what? And then what? Keep asking yourself. And then what? And you're going to find all the reasons that you get to do things and you don't have to. All right, my friends, give it a try. Let me know how it goes for you. Let me know if anything changes or impacts the way that you show up in your world. All right, have a beautiful week.

I'll talk to you next Wednesday. Bye. And if you're ready to level up or if you feel like you didn't get what you wanted out of your golf game this season or you felt like you underperformed, I'm looking for four to five serious golfers who want to play to their potential and feel proud of the way that they showed up and the results they created on the golf course.

So if that's you and you feel like you're ready, make sure that you look at the show notes for a link to schedule a short 10 minute clarity call so we can see if we're a good fit.