18 Proud: Redefining Success on the Golf Course

In this heartfelt episode,  join Kathy as she dives deep into a personal story that reshaped her approach to golf and life. Inspired by a transformative triathlon experience, Kathy explores what it truly means to walk off the 18th green feeling proud—not because of the score, but because of how you handled yourself.

Through the lens of vulnerability and courage, Kathy shares her journey from feeling defeated on the golf course to finding a new sense of pride and accomplishment. This episode is packed with insights on setting intentions, managing self-talk, and embracing the process rather than fixating on the outcome.

Discover how you can apply these principles to your own game, ensuring that you too can play "18 Proud." Whether you're overcoming fears, celebrating small victories, or simply striving to show up as your best self, this episode will inspire you to redefine success on the course and beyond.

Tune in for an uplifting conversation that will leave you motivated to tackle your next round with confidence and pride. Join Kathy and learn how to transform your mindset, one swing at a time.

**Key Takeaways:**

- The importance of setting intentions for your game

- How to manage self-talk and pivot mentally during a round

- Embracing the process and finding pride in your efforts

- Real-life examples of overcoming fears and celebrating small wins

**Listen now and start your journey to playing 18 proud.**

For more insights and support, visit KathyHartWood.com/join
to learn about Kathy's programs, private coaching, and online courses.

Transcript

Welcome to above par. I'm your host, Kathy Hartwood. I show you how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing harder, taking more lessons, or buying new equipment. I show you how to end the frustration of underperforming so you can start playing to your potential. This is where you are going to learn how to think above par so you can play below par. Let's get to it.

Hello, my girlfriend. Welcome back to above parental. I'm super happy that you're here and listening and sharing the podcast and sending in some of your wins with me. I appreciate it. I read them all. I might not respond to you right away, but I do read them all, and I really appreciate it. So keep them coming. I love hearing about them. I love seeing how you're taking some of the information in the podcast and putting it to use in your own golf game and finding some success and feeling maybe a little bit more proud of yourself on the golf course.

And that's what I want to talk to you about today. I had an assignment that came up for me when I was at a business mastermind in Puerto Rico not too long ago, and I actually did it on the plane, and it was about coming up with a story that people could resonate on something that was important to you. And as I did this exercise, I actually got kind of emotional on the plane.

The poor guy sitting next to me is probably wondering, what? Why is she sniffling over there? But this is the story that I want to share with you, and I want to tell you how it relates to golf and why I think this is such an important concept that I want to share with you. So when my kids were like six, five, and four, I had really quit golf.

I wasn't playing golf competitively at all. I hated the way it made me feel. I hated walking off of 18 and being disappointed in my performance. It just reiterated all the time that I played junior college and professional golf and really was never happy or satisfied with my golf. So I decided, you know, I'm just gonna not play or compete anymore. I'll play with some of my students.

I take them out for a playing lesson, but I'll just work. I'll work really hard, and I'll spend that extra time with my daughters, which I did. I justified it that way. Then I decided I needed something to focus on and something to do. So I signed up for a triathlon. Now it's just a short triathlon with those sprint triathlons, but to me, it was an iron man, because this body is not meant for running.

It's not. It does not come easily to me. I'm kind of like a Clydesdale when I run. I'm just like a little stocky. My body's very much meant for biking. That was not a problem for me. I was actually a certified spin instructor during that time, so that was gonna be easy. And then swimming. I knew how to swim. I did country club swimming, right? So I had a little lane at the bottom of the pool that I stared at and did my swimming.

But I really didn't think I was very efficient at it. So I signed up, and it took a lot to sign up. I was afraid. I had fear. I was very motivated. I was very determined. I'd get up at six in the morning and drive myself to the swimming hall of Fame in Fort Lauderdale at the beach and took swimming lessons because I wanted to be a very efficient swimmer.

I wanted to be able to breathe. Well, I didn't. I thought I wasted a lot of energy when I swam. I did some research on how to be more efficient, lighter runner. So I didn't, like, bang the heck out of myself running. And then biking was really about me getting a bike, that I had the appropriate wheels on it because I had kind of a mountain bike that I used to ride and getting myself out on the road and putting in the miles.

So the first triathlon I signed up for was at Disney World. I took my daughters, there was going to be kind of double dip. I was going to do a triathlon and I take them to Disney World. So the alarm goes off at 04:00 in the morning. I get up, pack up my gear, get on a bus, head to the area where you get put into your transition to go into the swimming portion of the triathlon.

And I was scared. I was actually really afraid of open water swimming. I was afraid of all the people that were gonna be swimming together. When we went into the water, I tried to keep myself out to the side a bit, but there was no lane. I had been doing all of my training, and it was a clear pool and there was a lane on the bottom, like a little painted lane that I could focus on to make sure I was on course.

It was dark, like, I could see nothing other than a foot randomly coming out of the water and kicking me in the face. And I had feet and arms and legs banging me coming out of the darkness as I'm swimming. So the breathing and all that training was out the window. I doggy paddled for half of that swim, just so I could keep my head above water and make sure I stayed on course.

So I battled through that. I went into my transition to biking, you know, not smooth. It was my first one. Did I have the right clothing? No. I was chafed everywhere. I didn't know. I don't think Google was around for me to do all the researching when I did my first triathlon. And anyway, I made it through biking, not a problem. So I entered the third portion, which is the run.

Not really my favorite part, but we came around a corner, and we're gonna head into the park. We're gonna head into magic kingdom. As I go around the corner, there are my three daughters standing on the sidelines with little hand painted signs, handwritten signs that said, proud of you, mom. Way to go, mom. And they're cheering for me as I came around the corner and went into the last leg.

And I got really choked up seeing them up bright and early to cheer me on and how excited they were for me. And I remember running past them and going into the parking, being a little bit emotional about how proud I was, actually, of myself for all the things that I had gone through, all the. The hours of training and the fear, overcoming the fear and failing over and over and over again, even within that day, and having my own back and being really proud of the goal that I had set for myself.

It wasn't about winning. I wasn't trying to win. I just wanted to go through and have the experience. And we ran through the park. All these women who were also super proud of themselves, super excited, a lot of them were. The first time ever doing a triathlon, as it was mine. And we go through the castle, Cinderella's castle. And I remember one of the women funneling from pretty woman, she said, who's Cinda ephenrella now?

And it was really quite funny. We all got a laugh because right outside of the castle was the finish line. And I remember crossing that finish line and they give you your medal. And I thought, I've never had this feeling of being this proud of myself and happy and fulfilled in any round of golf I've ever played. And I've played lots of rounds of golf, and I have won.

And I probably could say that I was really proud of myself for those wins. I've been proud of myself on how I've battled through some rounds and created some decent scores. So I have had moments, but I thought to myself, I was going through this story again. How many rounds of golf do you walk off of? 18. And feel proud proud of how you showed up, proud of how you managed yourself, proud of how you mentally pivoted.

Not necessarily proud of a number, because we can't control a number. We can't control the result, really, we can only control is how we show up on the golf course. And I thought back over my career on how many rounds of golf I was not proud of myself. I was not proud of how I managed myself. I had disappointment and shame. Probably 90% of the rounds of golf I've ever played.

Like, I've had fun, don't get me wrong. But there's always, it's that golf component where, like Justin Thomas said, we're just never satisfied, and it can become a bigger burden. Like, we're looking for that one round where nothing goes wrong. And when nothing goes wrong, then I can be proud of the way that I showed up. And even if you shot an amazing round, an amazing number, you still might not be as proud of yourself because you left some out there and maybe you didn't win.

Maybe someone shot a more amazing number and you didn't win. I but do we deliberately take the time and the effort and set the intention of saying to ourselves, I want to play 18 proud? What would it take for you to walk off 18 and say, I'm proud of the way I showed up today? One of the things that struck me as inside the academy, in my membership is that when I asked people for wins, what they did well, it is not about where they finished.

It is not even about that they wondezenheid. They're proud of how they manage themselves. They're proud of how they finally overcame anxiety. They're proud of how they didn't let a person bother them. They're proud of how they said, it's my turn, I'm up, let me hit. They're proud of having their own back. They're proud of how they rallied after a big number. Like, who doesn't want to feel proud of the way that you showed up?

And the thing that also makes them proud is that they can take those skills off of the course and reproduce it over and over and over again in their day to day life, managing their anxiety, having their own back, standing up for themselves for the most part. Say it's not about the win, it's not about the victory, it's not about the score. It's about how I get to feel.

I talk about that all the time. Everything we do and we don't do is based on how we get to feel. So what if you set an intention for how you want to feel when you finish 18. Can you play 18 proud? I'm in the process of making gear with 18 proud on it because I love that saying, what would it take? And this is a way that you can start.

I want you to think about why you aren't proud of yourself in a typical round of golf. And I want you to think about this way too. It's not necessarily that you hit a bad shot, it's about why you hit a bad shot, right. So if you stood over more shots in a place where you were proud of yourself, you more than likely are going to produce better results with your golf swing.

Why we mishit a shot? It's not the shot. It's because we were ticked off when we swung, right, accepting that I'm going to miss shots. But if I put myself in a position where at least I can make my best swings, I'm going to be pretty proud of myself. If I typically get ticked off for five holes and it affects my score, and I'm ticked off today for four holes, I'm pretty proud of myself regardless of what my score is, regardless of the result.

And if your brain can't get there, if your brain is all about the number, you're going about it the wrong way. If you feel like the only way for you to be proud of yourself is if you shoot a number or if you finish in a place in the field, you're going about it the wrong way because there's so many things that you cannot control. So when you finish a round of golf, maybe a round of golf that you didn't like, what were you not proud of yourself for doing, being during that round?

And what would need to happen for your next round, for you to walk off 18 and say, you know what? That was 18 proud holes. I'm proud of myself. What would you have to do and set the intention of going out and doing that? Because if you do that, I promise you your results will get better. I promise you your experience will get better. I promise you you will feel better.

Because who doesn't want to feel proud of themselves? And as you listen to this podcast, I want you to pay attention to all your resistance to this whole story, right? Because if you're like, I can't be proud of myself or I'm giving myself a pass, or that means that I'm not trying, just I want you to listen all the resistance your brain is giving you by what I said in this podcast, right?

And if you need any help with this. If you want to figure out how to play a team proud, make sure you reach out to me. I will help you enjoy my membership. I can help you one on one. You can take my online program. I have multiple ways of learning how to do this work. All right, my friend. Have a beautiful week. Play a team proud. I'll talk to you next Wednesday.