Think Above Par | Your Mental Caddy for Golf Mindset & Performance
Serious golfer? You know you’ve got the talent—but your brain keeps getting in the way. Think Above Par helps you master the mental game of golf, stop overthinking, and quit worrying about what others think on the course so you can play calm, confident, and consistent golf every round.
If you’re a serious golfer who knows you’re leaving shots out on the course, Think Above Par is your go-to podcast for mastering the mental game of golf. Hosted by Kathy Hart —a former Tour player, Top 50 Teacher, and Certified Mental Coach—each episode helps you strengthen your golf mindset, manage pressure, and play calm, confident, and consistent golf.
You’ll discover why you underperform under pressure, how to stop overthinking your swing, and what to do when you’re worried about what others think on the golf course. Whether you struggle with performance anxiety, perfectionism, or negative self-talk, Kathy shares proven mental-game tools to help you unlock your talent, enjoy the game again, and lower your golf scores.
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Think Above Par | Your Mental Caddy for Golf Mindset & Performance
Useful Negative Golf Emotions
•Kathy Hart Wood•Episode 120
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Positive thinking isn't always useful and negative emotions are always harmful.
In this podcast, Kathy discusses how our emotions affect our golf game and how we can use negative emotions to our advantage.
Kathy suggests 5 negative emotions that you are likely to experience in golf and how they can be useful when playing the game.
It is not about avoiding negative emotions or feeling like the only way to play well is if you are calm, certain, or confident. There actually are some negative emotions that you can not only expect but embrace with the game of golf.
Welcome to Above Par. I'm your host, Kathy Hartwood. I show you how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing harder, taking more lessons, or buying new equipment. I show you how to end the frustration of underperforming so you can start playing to your potential. This is where you are going to learn how to think above par so you can play below par. Let's get to it. Hello, my golf friend. Welcome back to Above Par. Think above par, play below par. That's what it's all about. So if you've listened to some of my podcasts, you know that I do talk about how your thoughts control your emotions, and that we do want to get ourselves into a state of calm or certain or confident as many times as possible. The reason we want to be in that place is because from there we can think clearly and swing freely, right? And then we're able to take our best swings out into the golf course, but also that feels better than being frustrated and annoyed and disappointed and shamed and anxious. So we're more likely to enjoy our day and play better. And when we know how to do that deliberately and on purpose and we feel in control, then we can go out there and have this bring it on attitude, which is ultimate confidence. Like bring anything on. I can manage my mind around all of it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna enjoy all of it, but I can manage my mind around all of it. While most people would agree that calm, certain confident are positive emotions, you know, I talk to so many people who are always trying to be positive. And I've talked about this before. Positive isn't always useful, right? We can say words that are positive, but they're not really hitting the mark, or they're not resonating with us, or your brain spits them out as BS. Saying I'm the best player in the whole club may or may not be true, and it sounds positive, but your brain might not believe it. If you're a 30 handicap and there's a lot of really good players at your club, there's a lot of people in single digits, and you say that, your brain might spit it out. So it's positive, but not useful. Because I want to talk about different emotions that you can actually use on the golf course. Why? Because I don't want you to pigeonhole yourself into just three emotions or thinking I'm saying that anything positive is useful. Right? Excited is a positive emotion for the most part. It's not useful on the golf course because it gets us moving too fast and too quickly and thinking too fast. So I just wanted to expand the way that you look at some emotions on the golf course because there are several negative emotions that actually can be useful and serve you on the golf course. And I'm going to go through some of them with you today. Because most likely, if you play enough golf, you've experienced them or you're going to experience them. And because we have them, that doesn't mean that there's a problem. No emotion is a problem. You get to experience all of them. On the golf course, negative emotions can be a problem for your swing. But because they show up, they're not a problem. So let me talk about a couple negative emotions that can be useful for you on the golf course if they pop up. The first one is courage. Courage is deemed a negative emotion because it's usually there because there's some fear. The way through fear is to step into courage. So there are several times that you're going to have to feel or experience courage when you play golf. Sometimes it's stepping on the first T. Sometimes it's standing over a downhill slider and still making a smooth stroke. Sometimes it's just standing over a shot that you don't like and you have fear, but you have the courage to make the swing that you own. Courage can be a playoff. Courage could be signing up for a tournament. Courage could be not quitting after a horrible front nine. Courage is one of those emotions that we're most likely going to experience if we play in tournaments or just even playing the game around other people. We usually don't need a lot of courage when we're playing by ourselves. The next one is vulnerability. So if you play golf, you're going to experience vulnerability. And there's so many of us who think that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. But as Brene Brown says, vulnerability is not weakness. It is our greatest measure of courage. Vulnerability shows up as we have to move through uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. That's golf. We're not certain about much when we play golf. There is a lot of risk out there. And for sure there's emotional exposure anytime we show up to play the game. So if you're experiencing vulnerability, which you will when you play the game, when we have to slap a score up on the board that we don't like, that's vulnerability. When we know on the golf course that we're not going to have a very good score, and we keep playing, anticipating the vulnerability, that's real. The better you get at experiencing vulnerability, as stepping into vulnerability, the more you're going to put yourself out there. The more you're going to show up. So golf can be a very vulnerable game. And you can still play. And you can still swing and you can still perform well. But because you're witnessing that or experiencing it, nothing has gone wrong. It's part of our experience playing this game. Envy is another emotion that is a negative emotion that people can experience on the golf course. And I think it's a negative emotion that can serve you. It can work against you, but it can serve you. Envy shows up when we want something that someone else has. So you might be playing with someone and they're just making all the putts. Or they're hitting it past you. Or they just seem to be getting up and down all the time. And then you have this envy. I want what they have. At that moment, when you hear those words or something similar, when you have that envy, it either can work for you or against you. This is your decision. This is where your next move is critical. It is either going to drive you to work harder or it's going to discourage you and beat yourself up and compare yourself to this other person, as in not being good enough. So envy, while it is a negative feeling, most of us don't like to experience it and don't like it to feel it. It can drive you to work harder. It can, on the golf course, help you focus more, try a little bit more. Sometimes when we go out and play golf with people who are better than us, one of the things my dad always told me to do was play with golfers who are better than you because your game steps up. You end up putting yourself in those vulnerable positions. It took courage to go out there and play with players who were better than me. And then I had envy because I wished I could do all the things that they were doing that I couldn't do. And it drove me to work harder. It showed me what was possible. I could picture myself doing the things that they were doing on the golf course. So if envy shows up and it does a lot with golfers, because we do compare ourselves to other people. But if you're going to sit there and say, whoa, he's me, they hit it past me, I'm at a disadvantage, it's not fair, or you can use it to focus and re-engage and keep trying, and maybe after the round work harder on your game or get in better shape or whatever needs to happen in that situation, then that negative energy or that negative emotion can work for you. The fourth one is grind or determination. So we talk about grinding and golf a lot. It's not really a positive emotion, it's a pretty negative emotion, but it dials us in on a level of focus that we might not have otherwise. Grinding is just working a little bit harder than when we have those green light days. It usually shows up when we're just not hitting it very well. We feel like we can't let our guard down. We have to think maybe a little bit more around the golf course, or we're just constantly having to get ourselves out of trouble to save par or to prevent any blow-up holes. The day just seems very effortful and full of grind, coupled with a little determination because it's so easy at those moments to give up, throwing the towel, especially after a bad hole, or when your brain isn't used to working that hard. So if you find yourself having to grind a little bit on the golf course, while I would deem that a negative feeling, because of the effort that it takes, it can serve you in the amount of focus that is required and the determination that is required. And it's a moment for you to really be proud of yourself for the work you put in on that 18 holes because you didn't give up. Golf is going to serve up some rounds that we have to grind and we have to work a little bit harder, and it's just not as easy. We don't have the luxury of avoiding those. Okay, and the last one I want to talk about is being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is not a problem. Golf is sometimes not comfortable. Thinking, thoughts that we don't currently own or believe is not comfortable. Changing is not comfortable. Your brain does not like it. But as my coach has said, discomfort is the currency to your dreams. You've got to be willing to be uncomfortable if you're going to change and grow into the person and the player that you want to be. Staying the same is comfortable. Changing is not comfortable. So unless you love your results that you're creating, you've got to be uncomfortable and change and grow. Yeah, think differently. You've got to work on your game differently. Yeah, show up differently. That's one form of discomfort. The other form of discomfort is standing over the golf ball. I think so many people think that they're supposed to be comfortable over the golf ball all the time. I'm rarely comfortable over it. I'm always fiddling and moving and trying to get myself into the right position. When I feel really comfortable over the golf ball, it's an awesome day. But I can stand on a T-box and be uncomfortable. I can stand on a line, uneven lie, and be uncomfortable. A bunker shot, I can be uncomfortable. Just about how my ball is sitting there or how much sand is underneath the ball. I can be uncomfortable on putts when I don't like the reed of the putt or the pace of the putt. That is not a problem. You can still play good golf and be uncomfortable. I would anticipate it. And if you feel like you're entitled to comfort, you're gonna be really disappointed with the game of golf. There are times I've stood over the ball and I've had to fix my aim. And for me to aim straight, it felt like I was aimed 40 yards left. So uncomfortable for my brain. Because I had hit too many balls in a row with bad aim. So that became comfortable. So now I had to shift it. I had to play in a US Open qualifier, feeling like every shot I was aimed about 40 yards left, just so I could get straight. Very uncomfortable. Not a problem. So that's another negative emotion that you can still play good golf from, and it doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. So those are a few of the ones that I wanted to highlight that are negative emotions that you're going to experience on the golf course that are not a problem, that can work for you. Courage, vulnerability, envy, grind or determination, and discomfort. They are never a problem when they show up for you. It just matters in how you react to them. All right, something for you to look for the next time you tee it up. Useful negative golf emotions. Alright, my friends, have a beautiful week. I'll talk to you next Wednesday. Bye.
